June 22, 2011

with one foot in the past, now just how long will this last?

How much do our past relationships affect our current ones?  Silly me, I  thought that after a 2 year sabbatical, working, reading, praying, talking to my clients for insight, I had finally worked through my past, “issues”, that’s what I get for thinking…

Then out of the blue, I met a great guy who as it turned out was separated, not quite divorced from his second wife. And apparently she’s a handful, (aren’t they all?)

I know what you’re thinking… run for the hills, what the heck are you doing???  I know better but he was so freakin’ charming, sweet, and it’s been a long time… I know, I know… sucker.

We never really think or worry where something is going to go when you meet someone new, when there is no attachment, no real feelings, just fun, excitement, and did I mention it had been a long time??  But don’t worry, if things go well you will get attached and then all bets are off.

Hey, I wrote out my list of what I was looking for, negotiable and nonnegotiable, and I clearly stated, must be available for me,  physically, mentally and spiritually.  I swear it’s on there, I still have the paper.  So what do you do when you connect with someone and they are still not finished with their past and are not quite ready for you?

I don’t know about you but for me the first thing I did was just be pissed.  How can God, the Universe, the Angels,  drop someone right in your lap, when you least expect it and after an amazing few months,  say sorry,  maybe in a  few months or a couple of  years,  you can be together, he’s gotta clean up some stuff first.

No, I don’t want to wait, I’m tired of waiting, (temper tantrum).  Second thing I do, is just say, fine, go, whatever, I’ll just find someone else who is ready.  Really?  Maybe if I was really ready for a relationship I wouldn’t have attracted someone with so much to clean up in the first place.

Clearly, I must be doing something to attract this kind of thing, otherwise, it wouldn’t be happening.  Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought I was.  Crap…

All relationships are mirrors, and if you are the least bit conscious at all you can see that if you attract someone who annoys you or does something that really gets your attention, there is something there for you to learn.

So here we are, on a break, taking care of business, figuring things out, I hate it but that’s the way it goes. I’ll keep you posted on how things progress…

Oh, and by the way one of the other thing on my list was big love, amazing, wonderful, knock your socks off, don’t wanna live without you, love you ’til the day I die love.  And if this isn’t it, I can’t wait to see what comes in for me .  Wish me luck…  xo-K

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April 15, 2011

how do you know when it’s time to go…(and yea, you really do know)

 

I revamped this one for a few friends who are at a relationship crossroad.  Hey, we’ve all been there, right??

(You could also apply this to your  job that is no longer fulfilling, the house that is now worth a fraction of what you paid for it, a friendship that is no longer a two-way street…  Anything you have committed to in the past that is no longer serving you).

 How do you know when a relationship has run it’s course?  When do you cut bait before it’s too late and  things get ugly. Before you forget about all that was good, when everyone was happy and in love, and things seemed perfect?

 They say you know when you know, but I say you know a lot sooner.  There is a part of you that knows everything, and depending on how conscious and in touch with your intuition or your “gut” you are, I think everyone can look back to the beginning and see that there were signs all along.  Some of us I guess just have to learn the hard way.

 If you’re not at a place where you are really trusting yourself,  ask your friends, really, they know.  If you don’t recall when your relationship went from “OMG this could be The One” to that “ick” feeling in the pit of your stomach.  Ask your friends, I bet they can tell you the exact moment it happened.

 You know which friends I’m talking about, the ones who love you unconditionally, the ones who really want you to be happy.  Not just people you know, but your true friends, the ones that have been through it with you.  The ones who have been on the other end of the phone, for hours on end at all times of day or night listening to you go at it ever since you entered the “ick”.

  If you get to the point where you are  drawing a line down the center of a piece of paper, weighting out the pros and cons of your relationship, you’re in the “ick”. You don’t have to do this with The One, things just fall into place, evolving effortlessly, with a sense of calm, and on some level you just know.

Let’s put it this way, start to change any of your core  beliefs? “ick”. Justifying? “ick”. Sacrificing? “ick”, settling… oh hell no!

I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. Some are here for the big lessons, some are here forever… you know the who they are, they come in and BAM,  in that moment, or month, or ten years, they are The One.

  Some are what I call “fillers”.  Fun, cute, sexy, just something to do, but you know they are just there to roll around with till The One comes along. 

There are also the “lesson” guys, they feel like The One and they ARE until you get the lesson and then guess what, now they aren’t, and time to move on.

I know, I know, you don’t want to, you want it to stay, just like it was, when it was good… forever.  Sorry to say it can’t.  Once you have gotten from this guy what he came to teach you, it is time to take what you learned and move on, and if you don’t,  it all seems to go down hill fast.  And it can get ugly… and sad.

That is when the scramble starts. You reflect back to when it started to feel weird, he seemed different or maybe it was you.  You start to doubt yourself (did I say something or do something to upset him?).  Many nights of sleep are lost, wracking your brain about what possibly could  have happened.  When you exhaust yourself  or make yourself absolutely crazy you call on the troops.

You enlist your girls to help you to try to figure out what you did and how you can get it back to the way it was before.  Surly, if it was good once you  can will/force/coerce it to be  good again, right?  Guess what: you can’t. You hit the “ick”, party’s over, lesson learned, (hopefully).  Time to move on.   

  Remember, exit before it gets ugly, keep him as a friend, or not and remember you only need one, “ONE”.  And I can promise you, it will be so worth the wait.  xo-K

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April 7, 2011

happy together

                                                                                                       

 Another one of my favorites, I wrote this  last year on Two girls take on love.  Hope you enjoy it. 

My first example of a happy marriage started off, well at the beginning.  My parents married right out of high school, first love, still married and in love 47+ years later.  Great example right, so. . . what the heck happened to me?

Here I am at 46, still trying to figure this all out.  I didn’t come from a horrible, broken family.  My family was small but solid.  So why at the age when hormones were raging did I basically proclaim to God, Universe, Angels, or whoever was up there listening, “I’m never getting married!”

I’ve been close  a few times, but because of the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing, I’ve always managed to pick the guys who I seemed to want to marry but for some reason knew on some subconscious level, were safe to get close to, but no cigar.  What the heck was I so afraid of?  I did want to get married right?  I did want to share my life with someone?  Didn’t I?

I had totally forgotten about my teenage proclamation until just a few years ago.  I remember feeling it, and I do mean feeling it.  At that point in time I swore I was never going to get married and there was a lot of emotion and steam behind it.

So I have been trying to figure this out ever since that lightbulb went off years ago and I have come up with a few things that  I thought I’d share. 

 I think  I was under the impression that all marriages are created equal,  that there  is really only one kind:  he gets his way all the time, she has to sacrifice, and so do the kids. (So is it any surprise that I became a single parent and not a wife?  hmmm, good question).

Thinking about it now, it just seems crazy. It’s amazing the impressions made on you as a young child, and how you just take them on, how they become a part of your belief system without ever questioning them. 

 I watched my mom for all those years and even now,  she doesn’t seem to mind giving my dad his way, catering to him, she actually seems to enjoy it.  So what I see as a sacrifice is not for her. 

 Wait, so there’s not just one kind of marriage?  I think that the sacrifice version of marriage is what I’ve been carrying around with me all these years,  it didn’t seem fun to me so I wasn’t going to do it, period.  Wow, that’s quite a revelation.

So after much thought, reading, studying and just talking to my friends and clients, I finally got that there isn’t just one kind of marriage.  I don’t have to have my parent’s marriage.  OMG, really? It seems so simple, but most people go through life on auto pilot, not really knowing that there are choices and options about the way their life plays out. Now this is enlightening.

So now I know that I get to choose what kind of marriage I want to have.  The way I want to live.  I know  there will be compromises just like with anything, but I don’t have to have my parents marriage.  I can find someone who I will be happy with, just like my mom did.  Now, isn’t that  ironic.  

You really can’t look at someone elses life from your vantage point and get the true picture. xo-K

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

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April 3, 2011

your facebook page~ a reflection of your life

Facebook~ whether you think it is the best thing ever, and check  your page numerous times a day, or hate it, and want to shut it down, never to return, you have to admit it is the biggest phenomenon  that has hit in, well, forever.

  It is bringing people together in a way that is absolutely incredible.  We are all connected, and Facebook is proving it.

  I work in a very busy salon, and not a day goes by that Facebook isn’t referenced, numerous times.  When you really think about it, it’s  truly amazing.

That being said, for something that virtually everyone is participating in, isn’t it interesting that people’s pages and experiences are so completely different?  Just goes to show you reality is all about perception.  For me, your Facebook page is a reflection of who you are, what your life is like and what your attitude about life is.

Let’s face it with so many people to friend and so many pages to like, it’s like you get to design a kind of virtual life you want to live.  Unlike the information you get on your morning news programs, when I check into Facebook in the morning I am greeted by people and pages with positive affirmations, uplifting quotes, and heartfelt and funny videos.  I start my day with things that make me feel good!

You see, I decide what I want to see, what I want to fill my life with and it works for me.  Call me a Pollyanna, but there is a lot of stuff to look at on Facebook as in life.  I just choose to look at the things that bring me joy, make me smile, make me feel connected to something that is  bigger than myself.  Yea, it’s all there on Facebook.

When something terrible happens, like a natural disaster for example, instead of a 24-7 recount on the horror,  my page is filled with the call for  prayer  for those suffering,  we know what happened, in most cases, the details are irrelevent.   No good comes from blame and focusing on the problem, ever, we pray for hope, we pray for a miracle. 

 When you check into your personal page in the morning what is greeting you?  Is it a bunch on gloom and doom, gossip and negativity? Well those are the friends you are surrounding yourself with, and if they are on your page they are probably in your life too.

See, you get to pick what you want to look at on your page, and believe it or not, you get to pick what your life looks like too.

 Have a friend that is always complaining about how bad things are, counting down the days until Friday, like their weekend is likely to be any better.  Guess what, you can hide them and all the negativity, or better yet, delete them.  You are the king/queen of your page.

I decided that along with my life, my Facebook page was going to reflect what I want to look at and how I want to feel, which is good! 

Abraham says,  If you compared the bad news out there with all the good news  that is going out there on our planet, the bad news would be just a blip,  on the radar screen, almost not worth mentioning.

How are you choosing to start your day?  What are you choosing to focus on?  There is a lot out there to look at, what are you going to put your attention on?

Remember, it’s a free will zone…. xo-K

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March 21, 2011

it’s the thought that counts…

Growing up, I can’t remember a single Christmas that my mom didn’t know what every  package  that had her name on it contained.  There were no surprises, she knew because she bought, wrapped ,tagged and placed them all under the tree, herself.  Same thing on her birthday.

It’s not that my dad was cheap or didn’t love her, no, on the contrary, she could have anything she wanted, he would hand her a wad of cash and tell her to buy whatever she wanted, nice, but what she really wanted was to be surprised, to have him go out and pick out  something that he thought she would love.  Take the time, put in the effort, but I think he was so afraid he would make a mistake or disappoint her that he didn’t want to take the chance.

After years of this, and my mom being a trooper, she just resigning  herself to the fact that of all the things she loved about my dad, surprising her with something special was probably not going to ever happen.
Once, while on a trip to Carmel, they wandered into an estate jewelry store, my mom loves garnets and saw a ring that she just fell in love with.  They went onto other stores, had a bite to eat, and shopped some more.  She couldn’t get that ring out of her mind.  She decided she had to have it and they went back for it but the store owner, was sorry to say that someone had come in about an hour prior and fell in love with it too. Oh well, guess it wasn’t meant to be. 

Six months later a few weeks before their anniversary my dad did what he always does,  told my mom to go shopping and buy whatever she wanted. And she did, but then at dinner, he surprised her with the beautiful antique garnet ring that she had fallen in love with.

She was so thrilled  over the gesture that she thought would never happen, and as for my dad, he had no idea how good it would feel to make her so happy.  Funny, now any chance he gets he looks for things to make her smile and surprise her.

I am sharing this story because the whole idea of men being thoughtful, has been popping up all around me lately.

My daughter and her boyfriend were about to celebrate their first Valentines day together, she  told him it was going to be her first Valentines with a boyfriend and he told her he was going to make it special.  Wellll, he kinda dropped the ball, he didn’t plan anything, they did go out to eat but let’s just say even his buddies thought he screwed it up and let him know it.

She was devastated, she came home and cried, not that she needed him to buy her a present, it was bigger than that.  She felt like he put no thought, no effort into the day that he knew was so special to her and she was hurt.

  So, when it came time for prom she  told him, if you don’t ask me to prom in a cute special way, I’m not going.  Period.  Baby girl knows what she wants.

She was getting nervous as time was ticking and still  no grand gesture,  but the kid had a plan.  He drove her to where they had their first kiss, his friends were in on the gig, and they were there waiting,  in the middle of the road a rope spelling Prom?  in flames was waiting for her.

She was beyond thrill, he asked her, she said yes, and I have never seen her happier.  The kid was a rockstar on Facebook, everyone thought it was they best  ask, ever.  A thought, a plan, and it didn’t cost a dime.  She will remember it forever.

If guys only knew how easy it was to make a girl happy… well I guess I’m here to tell you.

It’s easy, be thoughtful… yep that’s it, put some effort into doing something sweet, something unexpected, us girls are suckers for that.

My bff B, she was out walking her dogs with her man and his dog, after her dogs did their business he took the  poo bag from her hand, that’s right, she thought it was so sweet and considerate that he carried the poo.

A few weeks ago my back was out, I was dying, in pain going from my massage therapist/guru, to my chiropractor, who by the way welcomed me sobbing, I was hurting so badly.  After my adjustment, I was heading home and my gas tank was on empty.  Yea, that’s what I wanted to do, stop for gas. Then a call from M, who said he would drop what he was doing and come to where I was  and pump my gas for me, sweetest thing ever…

Simple things here guys but big points…. huge.  xo-K

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March 17, 2011

pity party

Back in my early 20′s my bff D had been dating this guy for about two years.   Near the end, they were off and on and off again.  Early one Sunday morning I got the call. She was crying hysterically.  “It’s over,” she said, “really over.”

So, in my sweats, with a bottle of Stoli in one hand and cranberry juice in the other, I showed up at her door.  Call me psychic, but I had a feeling that beverages were going to be needed for this one.

After I mixed up a few Sunday morning Cape Cod cocktails, hey she’s hurting here… she proceeded to fill me in on the events leading up to the final break-up.   She cried, she screamed, she cursed.  I listened, I agreed, I listened some more.

She stormed out of the room, started tearing into her hall closet  where she retrieved a large box.  Before I knew it we were sitting is a sea of pictures of the two of them scattered on the floor.  With a pair of scissors in hand she said, “Cut his head out of all these shots, I want him gone.”  So we proceeded to do it.  Hundreds of pictures, the two of them happy, at dinners, on vacation, backyard bar-b-ques, weddings, there she stood, smiling next to a man with no head.

After the initial  rush, she was starting to feel better. I don’t know if it is the delirium of no sleep, the vodka or the fact that we had a big pile of goofy, smiling heads scattered on her living room floor.  Then we got, or rather she got really crazy and started gluing his head to other people’s bodies. His head on one of our best friends at her wedding, on her dog, etc.

By the end of the day, and yes we did spend a good part of the day on this, we were laughing hysterically, she was really feeling better about the whole thing, she cried, she purged and she processed.

Was she completely done being sad and ready to move on the next  day?  No, but I really think she got over him a lot faster than if she would have just held it in and just been sad all by herself.

There are many reasons to have a pity party, and many ways to have one.  Left your boyfriend/husband, lost your job, even a blow-up with your mom or your bff,  you need to get your feelings out so you can process them and get on with things.

The point here is, have a pity party. You are hurt, you need to acknowledge it, feel it, process it and then get over it and get on with your life. 

What most people do is pretend they’re  fine and have little mini pity parties, (tantrums), once a week or so for months or years until everyone is so sick of hearing about that guy she dated, how long ago was that? like three years ago??

 When you don’t deal with your feelings, they stay with you, filed away in your body waiting for the next time they get triggered.  I don’t know about you, but I am done not dealing with my feelings and then when I meet someone new, projecting all the old stuff onto the new guy, who as of yet hasn’t done anything wrong.

Do your work girls, you have to go through it to get over it.. feel your feelings, they are there for a reason.   Oh, and BTW, the next guy my friend dated was her future husband… I’m just sayin.’ xo-K

 

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March 16, 2011

partner or project, part deux

This is an excerpt of my post partner or project, from  my old blog two girls take on love.  There is a lot of really fun, reading there.  The site is still up and if you would like to read this in its entirety please check it out. 

I chose this for a friend of mine who is currently on the fence of partner/project…

   How can we tell if a new guy is a  potential partner or a project? Well I think first off we have to stay in the moment and really pay attention. Second,  I don’t know about you but at this point in the game I have a list of negotiable and non-negotiable needs/wants that I am really trying to stick to.  From little things like “must be employed” to  “must live nearby” so I can actually, physically date him.

  I have had boyfriends in the past who lived across the country and just the thought of us being in the same place was, well, a project.  Too hard, didn’t seem like it could really happen except in our fantasies.  Sweet and romantic, but not realistic.

I have to say, and I am not proud of this, but the fact is that I have been known to take on a project or 5 in my time.  I have actually been  fond of the project in the past, it felt like a challenge to me. . . and I am, make that was, always up for a challenge. Ugh, exhausting, and so not worth the effort. I know it might seem fun when you see someone has potential to get in there and help him be better or help him get that job or help him realize he can’t live without you or. . . I personally am finished trying to convince someone how great they are or how great I am for them.

Let’s just spell it out plain and simple. When you meet the perfect guy for you, and I am not saying there is any perfect guy, cause that would be silly, wouldn’t it? But, when you meet the perfect guy for YOU, take note here. . . pay attention. . . it’s going to be easy.

When things are right, they’re right.  When things line up, they line up.  When things are meant to be. . . you know where I am going with this.  You have to learn to trust. Trust your guidance, trust your intuition, , read your freakin’ horoscope.  The Universe is conspiring for your good, and you need to just go with that.  If it starts getting too complicated, it’s a project, if it’s too hard, project,  as cute as he is, sorry… probably not going to happen.

It is so great when you finally get it, it really is.  Just the other day I was working on a design project, and  after throwing around a few ideas  we, (my writing partner and I),  agreed on one that we though was perfect.  Welllll, I could not get the image to upload to save my life.  I never claimed to be a computer genius but, come on? it isn’t that hard.  I tried and tried and couldn’t make it happen.  It didn’t take me too long to get that there was something else out there, something way better.

  If something seems too hard and it’s not flowing, there is something out there that is a better fit, and you will just know it when you see it… I promise.  xo-K

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March 6, 2011

all you have to do is just be you…

It’s so funny, you can have all the pieces of the puzzle or think you have all the pieces, and then something comes along that just throws you. 

You could be with someone who has all the  right words, does all the right stuff, couldn’t say it better if you wrote the script yourself.   Easy money, a sure thing, someone who is everything on your list and more, who calls before he even needs to and as if he could read your mind, does just the thing to set you mind at ease so you won’t ever be afraid…. ever.

 Someone who is more than you ever thought anyone could be for you, someone who, when they text you, whoever is in you vicinity, know it’s him, because of the smile that comes across your face when you look down at your phone. 

It’s crazy that just reading a text from someone can make you so happy.  I can’t ever remember the last time someone had that kind of effect on me.    All you have to do is just be you and I am happy, just be yourself and I am amazed.

Can you just enjoy it for how ever long it lasts?  Do you have to start analyzing it, working it out, thinking it through?  Can’t you just enjoy it?  Even if it only last for now?

People get so caught up in how long things have to last, as if it’s only important if it last for a really long time or forever.  Some of the most important  people that have  come  into my life have come in and out in a flash with lasting results, leaving an impression on my life  that has  lasted forever.

 People have come into my life as if by magic, and left without a trace. Who’s to say someone who bumps around for years and years, predictable, safe, yawn, boring, is more important or substantial because of the hours they have logged in? 

Maybe if we could just be open to what shows up, and not worry so much about what it is supposed to be or mean…. I think everyone could and would be a lot happier.

A dear friend of mine is involved with someone who is not quite ready for her.  Her lesson is patience.  She is trying as best as she can… I want a guarantee, she says,  There are no guarantees, you  just have to hold on and have faith.  Can she do it?  We’ll have to wait and see… But things always work out the way they were meant to, every single time… without exception.  We’ll pray for her…

So, we could be afraid, run away, and keep starting over and over again, or we could hold our breath, ride it out,  allow it to unfold, and see what happens.

That would be a new one for me.  How about you?  Are you ready to go for it?

xo-K

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March 4, 2011

sorry to you, sorry to me…

M, so much time has passed, who knew how important things were, who knew the regret would carry on for so long.  Didn’t realize how important I was to you, didn’t realize how important you were to me.  And what we created, I am so sorry you never knew, it was unfair of me to never tell you but I was so afraid at the time.  You were so big, you scared me, and I lost who I was. 

At the time I had no idea that we were given to each other to heal our hearts, things could have been so different had I just trusted what you said, realized what you felt, trusted myself to make good choices, to just let one weekend come and go without doing something so stupid that it upset the balance that the universe had so carefully set up.  For this I am sorry, sorry to you and sorry to me.

I forgive you for all the crazy that took over our lives, what could have been magical, went dark… lights out.  I hated myself for not trusting, for not knowing that this was something special.  Wow, how many times does an angel get off a plane from NY and walk right through your front door only wanting to love you?

And all the players  waiting in the wings ready to engage and join the drama, that if left alone we probably could have made it through.  But no, everyone loves a drama, and as it turns out everyone loved us but for the wrong reasons.  Maybe love is the wrong word, everyone want to have a piece of us for their very own.  Oh and let’s not forget the ones that wanted to be us.  We sure did surround ourselves with some winners.  Huh?

You were so big and so bright and so beautiful, I didn’t think you would ever love me, but on some level I always knew you did.  I know how tiring it is when so many people want a piece of you, and don’t want to give anything back.  So hard for you baby and I am truly sorry I didn’t stand up for you, protect you, love you.

I was so scared that I was going to lose you that  I just turned around and walked away, but you wouldn’t let me.  And the dance began…

I could have given you something that would have changed everything, something that came in to save us both, but I threw it away.  Let it slip away, without a choice or a chance.  God blessed us with salvation, sorry I took it away, sorry I didn’t give you a chance, sorry I didn’t trust you to know a miracle when you saw one.

When you took off and got back on that plane I thought I would die, didn’t you just get here?  Weren’t you supposed to stay with me forever?  Wait, what just happened? 

Then years later, memories long gone, there is a healing, his name is M and he was the one who left the imprint on your heart long ago.  The sacred imprint that has set up the pattern that you have repeated time and time again, and will continue to repeat until you wake up!   Shocked, M did you say, not T?  No it was M, it was always M, he was supposed to be the one.

I’m shocked, I had no idea, are you sure?   Yes, he was the one, but without trust, fear takes over and well, the angels scramble to arrange a plan B.

And here we are, trying to right a wrong, or just play the cards that were dealt.  If you could choose again, would you choose love or fear?  It gets tricky you know, so many disguises, so many ways to play it out, so many ways to blame, so you can come out okay.

So next time someone comes along, so perfectly it’s as if it was planned lifetimes ago, what are you going to do?  Just dive in head first, naked, unafraid, or…. are you going to take the road you have travelled time and time again, and miss out on something that could be, and should be magic?  Your choice, it’s a free will zone you know.

As always…-K

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March 1, 2011

when you’re happy and you know it…

Last night I went to a meditation group a friend of mine had told me about earlier in the day.  I had been praying to find a new group, and I don’t know if this is it but for now, it was where I was supposed to be.

The leader gave a talk before the meditation and basically said we have come forth in this lifetime  to be happy and be in joy.  That’s it… Abraham says that too, seems so simple and desirable, wonder why it is so hard sometimes?

I guess happiness is up for me right now, last week when I was in the shower, the song when you’re happy and you know it… popped into my head.  Made me think, when you’re happy and you recognize or realize it, milk it, keep it going, think of more things to be happy about. 

 If something feels good do more of that, if it doesn’t… stop it. 

I often wonder why we will choose time and time again to put all of our attention and focus on stuff that just feels rotten, stuff we don’t want, stuff we hope won’t happen.  So we are going to feel crappy for days or weeks to prepare ourselves for something that may or may not happen in the future??  Sounds crazy but we all do it.

I know I am responsible for my own happiness, we all are.  What if tomorrow you woke up and only looked at things that brought you joy?  What if when you looked at something and it made you feel bad you turned away and found a better feeling thought?  What if you looked for things to appreciate and love and feel good about and ignored everything else?  What a day that would be! 

I have made a commitment to myself to let go of things that aren’t mine, worries, problems, drama, fear.  I’m not perfect but I am working on getting to a place that is peaceful, calm, joyful and happy. 

There really is so much good going on out there,  turn off the news, even if it’s just for a day or two, look at your kids or your dog, look for all the things that make them so loveable, spend your time  looking around for things to appreciate.  The more you practice, the easier it gets and before you know it.  All you will notice is the good stuff.

  It’s just like when you get a new car and then you see that car everywhere, everyone has one.  It has your attention so you see more of them.  It’s the  same thing.  The more you focus on things that bring you joy, the more wonderful things you will see.   xo-K

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